Self-motivation

For some reason, I need a reason to do things. It takes outside motivators to get me to all the mundane things that people are "supposed" to do. If it were up to me, I'd rarely pick up my clothes out of the floor. But thanks to the motivation of my hubby (and when I say motivation, I really mean nagging) I keep them picked up. Doctor's and dentist visits? When nothing is wrong?! Pa-shaw! Getting out of bed BEFORE the baby cries? Are you mental?! I'm just NOT a self-motivator. I've known this for a long time and I'm finally ready to admit it.

Since the beginning of my stint as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM), I've looked for legitimate ways to make money from home. But most of them require being your own boss. And I can finally say I know myself well enough that I would be a really friggin easy boss. Wanna take the day off? Suurrre...go ahead! You know what, self, just take the whole week off...What's that?....ohhh, it's nothing, really. Enjoy yourself! See where this is going?

I'm about to start round 2 of Biggest Loser. I rocked the first one, lost a lot of weight that I've been telling myself to lose for the last four years. But, surprise surprise, it took a competition (and prize money) to motivate me to do it. What happened when the competition ended? I gained 8 pounds. Son of a motherless goat.

I'm sick of "needing" something to get me going!!! Why can't I just WANT to do these things?? Does everyone just have to MAKE themselves do the crap they don't want to do? I'd like to walk to the pantry and say no to junk because IIIII don't want it, not because I have a weigh-in on Monday. That's why I sometimes think I should have been a personal trainer. Then it would be my JOB to look good. But alas, I am not. Nor will I ever be.

So I'm back to self-motivation. Sadly, I have no epiphany. No "aha moment". Just gotta get the lead out, Carl.